this is much harder then I thought

My sweet 20 month old, who I might add, is almost 21 months old, has a beloved relationship with his paci. Otherwise known as MEENA (pronouced Me' Na'). For a while Phil and I have been discussing when the right time would be to take his paci away. We debated and decided that the beginning of summer would be best. This just so happens to be in 10 days.
I was of course torn because this sweet boy LOVES his meena and I don't want to crush his little spirit.

Fast forward to this morning. This big boy (with a little help from mom), threw away his paci. I did cut the tip off but he really didn't seem to care and still sucked on it.

So good ol' meena is in the trash. A few hours pass and he doesn't even mention it. I guess I should say that he only had his meena for nap time, bed time, and car rides. And also Phil and I would use it in desperate times (a restaurant, church, etc.). He goes through the morning beautiful. I of course began to dread nap time because this is where the true test will be.
He was acting sleepy and it was nap time so I began to grab his night night and his cup. I scooped him up and said nap time. He looked at me and said nap time. I was feeling good. He wasn't even mentioning the meena. As soon as I laid him down, he looked at me and asked, IN THE SWEETEST VOICE EVER, meena pease? Cue broken heart here! I felt a tiny stab in my heart as I had to remind him that he threw it away. I then walked out of the room and the screaming began. Not for his meena, but for mommy. He usually will sometimes cry a little so I thought, no big deal. It became a big deal when 11 minutes passed and it seemed like 3 years of crying. So I gave in, not with the meena, but with my arms. I picked him up and he asked me for a snack. Hmm, maybe he was hungry. So we had a snack and he did not seem tired at all. I told Philip that we needed to wear him out so he will just crash and he will be too tired to even think about his meena.
Now the obvious way to exhaust a toddler is by taking them swimming.

We splashed, we practiced kicking our legs, we splashed some more.

After picking a few strawberries from Mimi's garden, he was done.

And this is when it gets ugly.
I may have pushed him beyond the state of tiredness. The car ride home was terrible. Phil was with his dad so it was just me. ALL. BY. MY. SELF.
As soon as we got home I laid him down and he did not cry my friends, he SCREAMED. As loud as he could. He was so upset he could hardly catch his breath. He would scream for me and his beloved meena. I tried so hard to not go in there but I could not stand in any longer. I grabbed the paci, just in case, and went into the room. He was so upset I struggled getting him calmed down. After nearly 10 minutes of me attempting to snuggle him, I gave him his paci. He spit it out. He was calm at this point. He was able to snatch it up before I could grab it. He put it in his mouth and with in seconds he was ZONKED! So he had the paci in for maybe 30 seconds before I took it out. He opened his eyes and in the sweet voice asked for his meena. I said no no sweetie and he fell back asleep. Success!
Well 40 minutes passed and he was wide eyed screaming for his meena. UGH!!! Mom guilt set in. I completely lost every ounce of will power I had. His cries became my pain. I gave him his meena. He looked up at me and said, thank you mommy, and fell back asleep.
So I am sitting here upset that I gave in. I am sitting here listening to my sweet angel sleep easy. This paci thing is not easy.