Another Baby!
Am I ready for another little one? I think so.
Am I ready for the sleepless nights? Ummm...NO. But I wasn't ready with Max either. Fortunately Max is a wonderful sleeper. So if I were to have another I would just be up with one.
Am I ready to be pregnant again? ABSOLUTELY. I LOVED it. I actually kind of miss being pregnant.
Am I ready to go through labor again? Yes. Although Max was 23 hours of torture I am still alive.
Is Max ready? This is the part where I am so hesitant to try for another. I am terrified that I am going to traumatize Max. I am scared that he will resent me. I am scared that he will feel lonely. I know that he will be fine. I know that a million other mothers have done it before me and all is well in their households. I am just so worried about Max.
Okay, can I really love another?? I love Max with my everything. He is my world. Am I able to share the love?? Obviously the answer is yes, but it seems so impossible right now.
I am so thrilled to be home with Max from here on out. I want our time spent together to be precious. If I were to get pregnant I would have at least 9 months of just one on one time. SO thankful to be home with my boy!
Max is constantly on the go. Can I keep up with a growing boy and a newborn? I also want Max to be potty trained 100% before another makes their appearance.
If I were to have another baby, Max will already be in preschool and have friendships developed. He will have his own sense of Independence.
I have been talking A LOT with Phil about this. He has been so wonderful and supportive. We want another, its not just me wanting another or just him wanting another. He had a good point when he said that we are not getting any younger. And if I want more then two I have to get my butt in gear.
I know that the greatest things in life are those that we sometimes think they may not be. Not that another baby is not great. I just feel so torn. I want Max to have a sibling. I want Max to have a partner in crime, someone to play with, talk with, fight with, all that comes with a brother or sister.
I just want Max to feel important and loved.
I am sure you momma's with two or more are just laughing at me :). Am I crazy to think these things or are these feelings totally normal?
Crystal, I'm sooo glad you wrote this post.
ReplyDeleteFirst- I got pregnant with Ethan right around Cam's 2nd birthday and the age gap is AMAZING. could not be better. Cam is independent enough, old enough to "help" but still young enough to be my baby at the same time. (hopefully that made sense?)
Second- Max will do AMAZING as a big brother. I remember having those same exact thoughts... and his life now is not complete without the baby. I remember stressing to no end, and God worked it out beautifully. Max seems like such a loving, smart and amazing little boy... he'll do perfect :)
Third- he'll be potty trained, don't worry :) he already sounds like he's doing amazing, and 9 months is such a long time to work on him. I wish I would have started PT'ing right when I found out I was pregnant, but I didn't.
Fourth- You will be an AMAZING mama to two sweet little babies. They will be blessed to have such a wonderful mama :)
Fifth- Can't wait to see some precious baby bump pics :)
I feel you, sister! :) I have been torn too....I think Ali had some great encouragement too!! I will be praying for you! :)
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