Newborn

Saturday around 2:00 a.m. I woke to a little whimper coming out of the baby monitor. I rubbed my eyes to see the screen and there I saw my little boy sitting up and crying. I pushed away the covers and walked downstairs to comfort my boy. I picked him up along with his lovey and I attempted to rock him back to sleep. This did not work. I brought Maxwell upstairs to my room. I thought that maybe he was hungry since he never wakes up like this and doesn't fall back asleep. As I began to feed him, his little body grew heavy in my arms, his eyes began to close, and he slowly drifted into a sweet sleep. At that very moment I prayed that I wouldn't forget this. I have prayed this prayer before. But because Maxwell will be 1 in a matter of days I really wanted to soak this moment in. It was as if I was able to go back into time and Max was a little newborn again, so helpless to which he needed his mommy. I didn't put him back down in his nursery instead I held him. I brushed his curls away from his face, I kissed his chubby cheeks, I whispered "mommy loves you so" into his ear, and I held his hand in my mine.
He was my newborn for just a few hours last night. I cherished it, I soaked every breath in, I held him tighter, and kissed him more. And even as I type this, tears fill my eyes because God knew that I needed that. I needed Max to need me.