My 1st Mother's Day!

August 2009, when I was 8 months pregnant, I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and had a nervous breakdown. I woke Philip up and told him that I was in no way prepared to be a mother. I told him I didn't think that I was able to balance everything and still be a good and happy person. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. My amazing husband just held me and reassured me that all would be okay.

Fast forward to September 3, 2009. I no longer had doubts or fear about being a mother. When Philip handed Maxwell to me, being a mother just made sense. That moment I held my son for the first time, I prayed that the Lord would give me wisdom, strength, and courage to raise Maxwell. Since Maxwell has been born my fears of not knowing what to do have not been felt. I think as a mother you are given this instinct, mommy instinct , that makes you know what and how to do something when a problem or any unknown situation may arise. I am FOREVER grateful for this mommy instinct, it has been used many times in the past 8 months.

I recently had a conversation with my father in law. He asked me if Maxwell was more work then I had expected. I thought for a second and I simply replied, no. Being a mother is not work to me. Being a mother is part of who I am. Being a mother is a passion, hobby, thrill, and adventure. Being a mother completes me. Being a mother makes me a better person.

Philip, Max, and I spent the weekend in Pandaries, New Mexico. It is this adorable little golf community in the middle of one of the most beautiful pieces of land that I have ever stepped foot on. Pandaries really reminded me of Flagstaff, the place where Philip and I met. The weekend was calm and quiet...just what I wanted. I was showered with gifts and cards and I was able to sleep in. My doula made me the most amazing slide show, I cried many tears of pure joy as I watched it. Philip bought me the Timi and Leslie diaper bag that I wanted. Max bought me an afternoon of pampering. My mother in law bought me a beautiful necklace with a mom charm. We went to this delicious brunch, where I am pretty sure I consumed one too many calories. BUT, my favorite part of the day was when Philip, Max, and I went around on the golf cart and captured the beauty of Pandaries as well as the beauty of my family!

Gorgeous Pandaries

Mommy and Max on the golf cart...which he loved!

upset that he couldn't drive

Max was blowing raspberries on my shoulder and making a hysterical sound. I LOVE that this picture shows just how happy I am!

My everything!

Kissing his mommy!

I enjoyed every moment of my 1st mother's day. I enjoyed the joy that I felt in my heart today. But you know what is even better then that? I feel that joy in my heart every second of every day.

Maxwell I love you so! I am so thankful that God gave me you!